Gratefully recovering
“We entertained the thought that staying clean was not paying off and the old
thinking stirred up self-pity, resentment, and anger.”
Basic Text p. 98
There are days when some of us wallow in self-pity. It’s easy to do. We may have
expectations about how our lives should be in recovery, expectations that aren’t
always met. Maybe we’ve tried unsuccessfully to control someone, or we think our
circumstances should be different. Perhaps we’ve compared ourselves with other
recovering addicts and found ourselves lacking. The more we try to make our life
conform to our expectations, the more uncomfortable we feel. Self-pity can arise
from living in our expectations instead of in the world as it actually is.
When the world doesn’t measure up to our expectations, it’s often our expectations
that need adjusting, not the world. We can start by comparing our lives today with
the way they used to be, developing gratitude for our recovery. We can extend this
exercise in gratitude by counting the good things in our lives, becoming thankful that
the world does not conform to our expectations but exceeds them. And if we
continue working the Twelve Steps, further cultivating gratitude and acceptance,
what we can expect in the future is more growth, more happiness, and more peace
of mind.
We’ve been given much in recovery; staying clean has paid off. Acceptance of our
lives, just for today, frees us from our self-pity.
Just for today: I will accept my life, gratefully, just as it is.