Freed from insanity
“Do I believe it would be insane to walk up to someone and say, “May I please have
a heart attack or a fatal accident”
Basic Text p.23
We’ve heard it said that unless we’re in love, we can’t remember what love feels like.
The same could be said of insanity: Once we’re freed of it, we may forget how truly
bizarre our insane thinking can be. But to be grateful for the degree of sanity to
which we’ve been restored in Narcotics Anonymous, we need to remember just how
truly insane we’ve been.
Today, it may be hard to imagine saying something as ridiculous as, “May I please
have a heart attack or a fatal accident?” No one in their right mind is going to ask for
such things. And that’s the point. In our active addiction, we were not in our right
mind. Each day we practiced our addiction, we courted fatal disease, degradation,
exploitation, impoverishment, imprisonment, death by violence, even death by sheer
stupidity. In that context, the idea of asking for a heart attack or a fatal accident
doesn’t sound all that far out. That’s how insane we’ve been.
The program, the fellowship, and our Higher Power-together, they’ve worked a
miracle. The Second Step is not a vain hope-it is reality. Knowing the degree of the
insanity we’ve experienced, we can appreciate all the more the miraculous Power
that has restored us thus far to sanity. For that, we are truly grateful.
Just for today: I will take some time to recall how insane I’ve been while practicing
my addiction. Then, I will thank my Higher Power for the sanity that’s been restored
to my life.