Feet of clay
“One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic
expectations on… others.”
Basic Text p.78
Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By
comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost
superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of
living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without
expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love
ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again.
Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side
of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands
us up for a coffee date, or we see two oldtimers bickering at a committee meeting,
or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We’re crushed,
disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren’t perfect after all! How can we possibly
trust them anymore?
Somewhere between “the heroes of recovery” and “the lousy NA bums” lies the
truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if
they were perfect, they wouldn’t need this program. Our friends and sponsor are
ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery
experience and use it in our own program.
Just for today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their
experience all the more for that.