Difficult people
“By giving unconditional love… we become more loving, and by sharing spiritual
growth we become more spiritual”
Basic Text, p.99
Most of us have one or two exceptionally difficult people in our lives. How do we deal
with such a person in our recovery? First, we take our own inventory. Have we
wronged this person? Has some action or attitude of ours served as an invitation for
the kind of treatment they have given us? If so, we will want to clear the air, admit
we have been wrong, and ask our Higher Power to remove whatever defects may
prevent us from being helpful and constructive.
Next, as people seeking to live spiritually oriented lives, we approach the problem
from the other person’s point of view. They may be faced with any number of
challenges we either fail to consider or know nothing about, challenges that cause
them to be unpleasant. As it’s said, we seek in recovery “to forgive rather than be
forgiven; to understand rather than be understood.”
Finally, if it is within our power, we seek ways to help others overcome their
challenges without injuring their dignity. We pray for their well-being and spiritual
growth and for the ability to offer them the unconditional love that has meant so
much to us in our recovery. We cannot change the difficult people in our lives, nor
can we please everyone. But by applying the spiritual principles we’ve learned in NA,
we can learn to love them.
Just for today: Higher Power, help me serve other people, not demand that they
serve me.